The O'Malley's

The following is an actual conversation that took place between myself and a middle-aged male customer this evening:

Him: "What wines do you recommend?"

Me: "Well... I'm not much of a wine drinker yet, I'm just beginning to appreciate it. I mainly prefer whites and blushes."

Him: "I like all wines, what's your favorite?"

Me: "Well my favorite wine on the menu is the Riesling, because it's the sweetest."

Him: "Is it as sweet as you, honey?" (wink)

(Awkward silence)

Me: "Ummm, why yes sir it is. I'll be right back with a glass of that for you."

(Leave abruptly)


Conversations like this one occur on a regular basis, almost daily. Since I work at a restaurant with paper tablecloths (we supply the crayons too) I get plenty of phone numbers and cute/funny/awkward messages such as "Do you think I'm cute? Check yes or no." Tonight, I also received a rather interesting comment card. Now, normally in the blank space following the question "Is there anything else you'd like to see on the menu?" people write "Put crab in the artichoke dip," or "More vegan-friendly meals," etc. Tonight, however, some kid at a table full of 18-19 year old boys wrote "My waitress, wink wink." What's with the winking tonight????

Because of conversations and incidents like these, I've realized that only about half of my job is actually taking orders and delivering food and drinks to customers... the other half is flirting. I am a professional flirt. I never considered myself to be very good at it in high school, but after a few years of waitressing I've totally learned how to flirt like a pro. I can turn it on and off at a moment's notice. (Obviously, when I'm dealing with a wierdo or pervert I turn it off immediately and avoid the table as much as possible, even to the point of neglect). But seriously, I spend hours each day laughing at jokes I don't think are funny, putting up with winks from men of all ages, flashing sweet smiles even when I don't feel like it, and allowing them to call me sweetheart or honey. (The only times I don't mind being called this is when it's a cute old man 70+ years old. Coming from a random 40 year old man it's just plain creepy.)

I cannot wait to get a real job!! I suppose that there will always be plenty of sucking up to do with any boss I have, but hopefully the line will be drawn between sucking up and flirting shamelessly. Any respectable job doesn't require you to pretend that you don't mind being hit on by a man you've never met who's out to eat with his young children and despite the fact that you're wearing an engagement ring. In the real world, outside of waitressing, that's completely inappropriate. Only 4 more months until I'm finished with waitressing/flirting forever. On the other hand, I've just started cocktailing this week. I thought that working in the dining room of the most family-friendly restaurant in all of Spokane was bad enough, but now I'll be working in the bar, serving alcohol to adult males. Pray for me!!