Sorrow

Last night, my Grandpa Chuck finally succumbed to the cancer in his body and died. If anybody didn’t know, he has had cancer for about 6 months or so. It began as a tumor in his brain, but spread to his entire body while he was undergoing chemotherapy. It was supposedly in remission for a few months, but 3 weeks ago we found out it was back. He has been in a lot of pain ever since then so I guess it is better that he is out of pain. Also, if anybody knew my grandfather, you probably knew that he was one of the few members of our family that was not a Christian. After he was diagnosed with cancer, my family had a hard time with the news mainly for that reason.

However, 2 weeks ago my mother and sister Renee flew to Texas to be with my grandpa. They shared the gospel with him many times while they were there, but he didn’t seem to be responding to it. Last week, my grandpa’s wife, Lori, called us to say that my grandpa had woken up in the middle of the night and was scared of the “darkness” all around him. She shared the gospel with him once more and she told us that afterwards he said he finally believed it and had faith in God. I believe that God may have been using the “darkness” to make my grandfather aware of the consequences of his lifetime of sin. There would be no joy or light for him in the afterlife if he didn’t recognize his sinfulness, repent of it and have faith that Christ has forgiven him. The fact that this seems so strange and almost extreme may be a good thing though. I believe it indicates that my grandfather’s heart was extremely hardened but that the Holy Spirit may have been working in it and softening it. I really can’t think of any other explanation for what my grandfather experienced that night. Obviously, I can’t see into my grandpa’s heart, and I guess we can’t ever know for sure about anybody. But I have been praying all last week that my grandpa really did come to Christ and that God would be using his last few weeks on earth to reveal Himself to my grandpa.

Well, this has been a very strange day for me. Nobody I’ve known has ever died before. I always feared the day that somebody I loved would die. But even then, I had always hoped it would be easier with the knowledge that that person had gone to heaven and I would see them again. The fact that my grandfather spent his entire life running from God makes this whole situation much harder, but I find comfort in the fact that God is sovereign over all things and perfectly just. He’s also infinitely merciful and loving and more than capable to perform a miracle in my grandpa’s heart and I trust Him with everything. God is still good and I’m glad to be alive and thankful for all of the blessings in my life… especially the people in it!!

Also, below I’ve posted something I wrote yesterday before I learned my grandfather probably would only live a few more hours. So it’s in a completely different tone than this post, but in case you were wondering how we spent our weekend, you will know.

A Cozy Weekend

This weekend was a cozy one. On Friday night, we had a lazy night at home watching episodes of our favorite show, The Office. On Saturday we were supposed to go hiking in the Shenandoah Mountains with another couple from church. But, it had been raining all week and it probably wouldn’t have been much fun slushing around in the mud all day. So instead, we went to the Lugbill’s house for a delicious breakfast of homemade waffles, coffee, and apples & caramel. After breakfast, we played this super fun (but confusing) game called Settlers of Catan. It’s very strategic and you have to build settlements and roads and cities and "out-think" all of the other players. But the trick is that you have to be smart about where you build your settlements because certain pieces of property have better opportunities and you also don’t want to be blocked in by the other players- like I was. So I came in dead last. Brandon won the game though, so I was glad for him I guess, even though he dealt the last blow to my little empire by blocking my roads!! After we left the Lugbills’ house, we went home for a few hours and hung out with our cats. Then, we went to Eastern Market, it's sort of an outdoor flea market in DC. They have vendors selling everything from cards to furniture to fruits and veggies. We walked around for a while and bought 2 homemade candles. We now have a cute little candle arrangement for our coffee table.I ended up getting a huge craving for a burger and fries, so Brandon took me to this place called 5 Guys to satisfy it. It was no In’ N’ Out, but it was pretty darn good. Brandon also has lots of free movie passes that he got while at his old job on The Hill, so we went to see Elizabeth at night. Brandon was even nice enough to get me a large popcorn- with extra, extra butter of course. We were both feeling a little sick when we got home (due to the fact that we probably each consumed 3,000 calories and a ton of saturated fat from that popcorn) and Brandon blamed me, like he always does whenever he eats something bad for him. I didn’t feel bad though. It’s not my fault if he has no self control, and besides, I love movie-theater popcorn so much that I think it’s well-worth a tiny stomach ache. It’s not like I eat that way every day!!

Sunday was spent mainly at church, but we also bought groceries and cleaned the house and I cooked a wonderful salmon dinner. For some reason, though, I thought it was daylight savings yesterday rather than next Sunday. So we set our clocks back and ended up being an hour late to church… oops!!! Good thing we always go early for the seminar classes!! Brandon blamed me for this too, I guess it was mostly my fault, but he went along with me and didn’t even question it. Don’t worry, he wasn’t mad though, he thought it was funny. But I sure looked stupid because I had spent an hour on Saturday night telling Brandon that I was sure that you set your clocks backwards in the Fall and forwards in the Spring. After missing the time change completely last fall and changing the clock in the wrong direction the year before that- and now this- I guess I shouldn’t be setting myself up as any kind of authority on daylight savings. But the upside is that now Brandon and I get 2 extra hours this week!!

Oh and today I got a blackberry, ugh. I gave Brandon such a hard time about his while he still had one, but now the tables are turned. Now I’m the one with a blackberry and he will probably never let me live it down. I thought that the lowly people in the office, such as myself, wouldn’t get blackberries and I still don’t’ completely understand why I might ever need one. I sit at the front desk all day, it’s not like I go anywhere. The only instance I can think of that I might need a blackberry would be if I had taken a day off. But even then, I’m sure the office could get on just fine without being in constant contact with the lowest person on the totem pole. I don’t even know how to use it and I’m not sure if I want to learn. It looks complicated and you all know that I’m not one for technology -- remember my old cell phone, hahahaha, I loved that thing! So anyways, if you see me with a blackberry at Christmastime, please don’t laugh. I know it’s ridiculous and I don’t like the thing, but I do get a laugh out of the irony of the whole situation.

Lesson Learned

Yesterday was an eventful day to say the least. A girl from our office is moving away so we had a little office party for her yesterday. Now these office parties are a little awkward for me as is because I don't really know anybody yet and everybody in my pay-grade and age-range are males and I feel dumb standing around talking with 6 or 7 boys but there's really nobody else for me to talk to.

Anyways, this story is much worse than just a few awkward moments at the office party... much worse. It all began when I was instructed to be the "bait" to lure the girl out of her back office and to get her to come up to the conference room where we were holding our party in her honor. As the receptionist, everybody who enters the office comes through me first so I was supposed to tell our guest of honor that a certain person from some organization she'd been working with was here to see her. When everybody was gathered in the conference room, I went to the girl's office and told her the lie I'd been instructed to tell her. She responded with "Oh f***, I hate that guy! Did you already tell him I'm here?" I said sorry but yes. She was kind of frustrated with me for this but said "fine, tell him I'll be up in a few minutes." I left and returned to the conference room where everybody was waiting in silence so as not to give away the surprise. As soon as I got there, I was bombarded with whispered questions: "Where is she?" "Is she coming?" "What's taking her so long?"

Well, as usual, I spoke without thinking and pretty much repeated everything the girl had said with one small difference. Instead of saying the actual f-word, I substituted just the letter "F," which is really just as bad. Now to me this didn't seem like a big deal since I have worked in restaurants for the past several years where I'm always the good Christian girl who doesn't swear. So just saying "f" didn't seem that bad to me... but the fact still remains: I just (almost) swore in front of my boss!! Let me help you picture this a little better so that you can understand my humiliation: all eyes were on me, nobody else was saying a word, complete silence. The Boss' eyes got really wide as soon as the word came out of my mouth the whole room burst into laughter and I was MORTIFIED!!! I spent the rest of the "party" trying not to cry, I couldn't even eat any of the goodies because I was sick to my stomach with nervousness wondering whether or not I would be fired at the end of the day (I wasn't, thank goodness!). But today, everybody (my immediate boss, several coworkers, my fellow front-desk mate) keeps walking into the office and saying "Oh efff." As if it wasn't bad enough that I endured the most embarrassing moment of my entire life yesterday... now I have to re-live it over and over again!! They will never let me forget this, I will always be known as the girl who swore in front of The Boss. I just want to crawl under a rock and die.

When I told Brandon last night he only said, "Well, that should teach you to actually think before you open your mouth. I've been telling you that for years." I get no sympathy. The problem is though that I have learned my lesson... the hard way... many times. Why must I keep learning it over and over again? What's the matter with me? Why can't I just keep my big mouth shut for 2 seconds to think over the appropriateness of what I'm about to say? *Sigh* Will I ever really learn my lesson?

Business Cards!

I got my business cards today!! My first ever business cards. Apparently, I'm not actually a Staff Assistant, but a Constituent Services Representative. That sounds much more official, don't you think?? Staff Assistant makes it sound like I answer phones and do clerical duties all day... which is true. But Constituent Services Representative makes it sound like I am much more important than I actually am, as if I reach out to the constituency and made a difference in the lives of everyday Americans. I guess in one sense, I do make contact with constituents every day, mostly crazy ones though. But at least my business cards imply that I am a dedicated public servant who works tirelessly for the good of our constituents.

I am watching C-Span right now. Senator Byrd is making a speech about former Senator Paul Wellstone who died in a plane crash 5 years ago. He's been speaking for about 5 minutes and has probably mentioned Paul Wellstone's name at least a hundred times. He begins and ends each sentence- well probably each phrase actually- with Paul Wellstone's name. If any of you have never seen Senator Byrd make a speech before, you really are missing out. It's probably the highlight of my day. We gather around the tv to watch him. It's highly entertaining and I definitely recommend watching Byrd speeches on youtube if you've never experienced one for yourself.

On another note, I forget my cell phone at home every single day. I use it as my alarm and always leave it in my bed after I've hit snooze 5 or 6 times. And I also forget everyday to take meat out of the freezer to defrost it for dinner, which means that we eat alot of macaroni and cheese. And I forgot to put on deodorant today... whoops!! I keep checking though and so far so good.

A Gray Day

It's been raining all day. I don't mind the rain in Seattle sometimes because it's cozy but I dont' like it as much here. It's humid and doesn't quite have the same effect that Seattle rain does. But I think the rain is only fitting because it's been a sad day. I found out yesterday that my sisters and Jon can't drive down to California for Christmas until the the night of 23rd because Renee's a bridesmaid in her friend's wedding on the 22nd. What kind of moron has a wedding 3 days before Christmas anyways? Have you ever heard of anything that dumb?? I haven't!! So I will only get to see my sisters for 2 days at Christmas. Great, now Christmas is ruined. I cried about it on the way home last night. Brandon was nice about it but nothing fixes the fact that I will only get to see Renee and Anna for a total of 2 1/2 days out of an entire year. Have I mentioned lately that I HATE living this far away from our families and friends? Because I do.

Oh and this morning we had a scare. Huck was throwing up all over the house and it was alot. Way more than just a hairball. We couldn't figure out why and then Brandon said maybe because he had been sneaking drinks of water from the toilet. This normally might be funny that our cat was trying to drink out of the toilet if it werent' for the fact that we have one of those toilet bowl inserts. Brandon read the back of the box and apparently these inserts contain toxic chemicals that can be fatal to animals and people. We moved the kittens and their things into the bathroom before we left for work in case Huck threw up again (We don't want our landlord to keep our deposit because of cat-barf stains on the carpet). He was still really sick when we left and I was convinced that he would die and that it would be our fault. I drove home on my lunch break to check on him and I opened the bathroom door half expecting to see a dead Huck lying on the floor with Emma sitting next to him crying. But he seemed to be ok. He was a little shaky and definitely wasn't his crazy self yet but he hadn't thrown up any more and he was eating a little and cuddling with Emma. Thank goodness!! I don't think I could handle 2 cat-astrophes (haha, I didn't even intend to make that pun) in 24 hours. For now though, let's all pray that Renee's friend calls off the wedding... or maybe she could even kick Renee out of the wedding, that would be cool too.

Pants + Pleats = Disaster

So the other night while at Justin and Abigail's, we had a fun discussion about pleated pants vs. un-pleated pants, specifically whether or not it was ok for young males to wear pleated pants. It was quite amusing because all three males in the room insisted there was nothing wrong with wearing them. They all not only owned a pair but have recently worn, or at least attempted to wear them. The whole thing started because Abigail was shocked that Justin had tried to wear pleated pants to church that morning. She vetoed them and he ended up wearing un-pleated pants. But this led to a spirited discussion later that evening.

All 3 females were vehemently opposed to our men wearing pleated pants, especially pleated and cuffed pants. Now, suit pants are a different story, these are acceptable because they are normally pleated and always have been. Pleats on khaki pants go in and out of style about every 15 years or so and are currently so out that nobody under the age of 30 should even consider wearing them. We three girls couldn't believe that our men didn't realize this, but not one of them thought there was any problem with wearing pleated casual pants. This may not seem like a big deal to you all, but it means the difference between looking like this (hot and sexy):


Or this (blech!!):



Well, we girls obviously won the argument (It's not very hard to win an argument when you're right). But the boys decided the next time we're out of town that they're going to have a pleated-pants party. Let me just say that I'm so glad I won't be there to see that!!

This whole post may seem a little silly and random, but for anybody who was at our rehearsal dinner and heard my father make fun of Brandon's clothes, this is precisely why. My Dad's a pretty bad dresser himself, and really makes no claims to have a sense of style (he wears flip flops and board shorts every day for goodness sake), so for him to think that an article of clothing is out of style makes quite a statement. So there you have it, feel free to disagree, I think most people on the East Coast disagree with me on that since they wear them every day, but I still hold strong to my opinions that pleated khaki pants are nerdy and I have at least 2 supporters here in DC. Oh and as a disclaimer so you all don't think I'm a totally shallow person, I love Brandon no matter how many pairs of pleated pants he owns and I still think he's hot when he wears them... from the waist up of course!! :-)

Oooohh I do have friends after all!!

Thanks to everybody who commented, you have made my day!! This blog is probably more than a little boring, but I'll try to spice it up from now on now that I know people are actually reading it.

So this weekend was a pretty good one. I'm still sick and have now developed a cough, but still, it's slowly getting better. I take long showers and breathe in the steam as much as I can and it seems to be working. I think my favorite thing to do in the morning (now that I have a shower big enough to do this) is to lay down in the shower and let the water hit you, it feels soooooo good. Brandon thinks its wierd, you might too, but don't knock it til you try it. It's much better than a bath and a few weeks ago I saw a tv show about spa treatments and some ritzy spas have a similar treatment. They wrap you in mud and aluminum foil and then when it's time to wash off, they lay you on a table and cover your face with a warm towel and then turn on 3 shower heads over you. Heavenly!!

On Friday night, we had our first married couples' small group. Our leaders are an elder and his wife from our new church and there are 4 other couples besides us and our leaders. We're going to read through a book called Love that Lasts and just generally talk about Christian marriages and principles. I think this will be really good for Brandon and I because there are 5 other young couples for us to draw advice and encouragement from. They're all close to our age (although we are still definitely the youngest, as usual) so they will all know what things we're facing and are probably dealing with similar things. And maybe I can make some friends that way too.

On Saturday morning Brandon hung out with his friend Justin for a few hours and I stayed home and cleaned/rested on the couch. Then he came home and I cleaned for real. Saturdays have become our weekly deep cleaning day where we'll do more than just straighten things out. Later, we went to a parenting class (Do NOT construe that to mean anything about children in the near future), we actually just signed up to serve dinner at the class and then ended up staying and listening and then cleaning up after it. Yesterday, we went to church all morning and then Brandon went to tie up some loose ends at his office and he also went to the grocery store for me. I stayed home and sewed up some of our tattered clothes. It took absolutely forever since all I had was a needle and thread and I don't sew all that often, but everything turned out looking better than it looked when I began. I guess that's not saying much, but oh well. We went back to church at night and then over to our friends the Tanners' house. They were just married a month ago and Justin was a groomsman in our wedding and Brandon in his. Abigail made enchiladas and we had a really good time. But... I had really hoped to get to bed early to try to help along the healing process. So I think I'll make up for lost time tonight while Brandon's at his small group. Oh, but Dancing with the Stars is on, so maybe not.

And today was Brandon's first day at his new job with Manas Development. His office had a little goodbye party for him on Friday after work complete with chocolate cupcakes and Brandon's favorite kind of beer. We had fun at that and Brandon will miss his old co-workers but he's really excited for his new job. He will be the Operations Coordinator (I think) for Manas which international development and business consulting in developing countries. Sorry if that sounds kind of vague, his job is actually quite cool, but I can't tell you what specifically he does... if I did, I'd have to kill you.

Cinque Terra!!

This is where my sister Rachel will be spending the weekend, and I'm SO jealous!!! Have you ever seen anything more beautiful?? If I could be anywhere in the world right now, I'd definitely choose to be in Cinque Terra with Rachel. I miss her so much!! (And I just really want to go back to Italy). Here are some more pictures for you to fantasize about.

Oh yeah, and she gets to eat gelato every day... not fair!!!

Huck & Emma

My precious baby Emma

Honeymoon pics!!

Here are some pictures from our honeymoon in Cabo... I want to go back!!

I couldn't resist :-)

This is us at Lover's Beach, the famous arch is on the other side of those rock cliffs

Having dinner at our hotel

Heavenly...

This is the view from our room

Brandon's favorite part of Mexico: Cuban cigars

So bored..

I still have 2 1/2 hours until I can leave.



* I'm craving Thai food today, I want some REALLY bad!



* Thinking about Thai food and exploring recipe sites all day has really inspired me to cook... and not just anything, I want to cook exotic food. (But easy exotic recipes, not ones with 20 different ingredients). I think I'll cook alot this week.



* Brandon and I made a deal last week that neither of us can buy new clothes until the end of November... I'm already regretting that deal. :-(



* I really wish I hadn't cut my hair off... big mistake... just like I knew it would be. I should have listened to my instincts and not replaced those memories of my butch haircut with visions of a cute, sassy, movie-star bob.



* We really need to trim our kittens' claws before they ruin our couches. Brandon gets angry at them, but I say they are just playful explorers. It's not like they're scratching our couches on purpose, how else are they going to chase each other and defy gravity without using their claws?



* My office is filled with young males and I'm the only female in the front offices and right now they're talking about how the hole in one of the guy's pants is big enough for another guy to put his head through. (Don't worry, the first guy isn't wearing the holey pants, they're hanging on a coat rack in the back office... now why the guys' pants are hanging on a coat rack is another issue altogether... you can worry about that part). I really need some female office mates!!



* The other night, I tried to give myself a manicure and I even tried to file my nails into attractive "round-squares"... but that turned out to be a bad idea because now my nails are brittle and chipping and a few of them are jagged and falling off. Guess I won't ever do that again.



* It's freezing in my office and constantly thinking about how cold I am and looking at my goosebumps makes the time go by very slowly.



* I'm also starving and dreaming about when I can go home and eat that makes the time go by even mooooore slowly.



* A few days ago, red bumps started appearing on my skin, like 1 or 2 new ones every day. I thought they were bug bites but then convinced myself that they couldn't be because I am never outside. But last night I was reading in bed and a mosquito landed on my leg... what do you know? A mosquito is living in our house in the middle of October!! Wierd!! I killed it though.



*Brandon just said we can go to Trader Joes after work!! Yay!! Thank the Lord for Trader Joes!! Without it, I'm not sure Brandon would get to eat every day :-)

Our Hero

This post is dedicated to Jonathan LLoyd Wallstrom, my sister's boyfriend and a hero. He's a Lance Corporal in the US Marines and is serving in Iraq. But.... he's coming home in exactly 3 weeks!!! The Lord has been watching over him physically, mentally, and spiritually during his tour in Iraq and now Jon's coming home to us soon. We're all super excited (especially Renee of course) and our hearts are bursting with pride. We've been praying for him since he left in the spring and God has been so good to protect him thus far. We'll keep praying for the next 3 weeks though until he safely lands in California. Jon, you're a hero to your country and your new family!! We love you and Brandon and I are super excited to see you at Christmas (and make the second annual Disneyland outing)!! You're in my prayers always!! OHHHRAHHHH!!!!

The Joys of Being Married....

Brandon is soooo funny to live with!! He's constantly making me laugh... when we're not fighting that is :-) He always talks in baby talk to our kittens; he needs step-by-step directions to make anything, even hot chocolate from a box ("How long do I heat up the milk for?" "It's still not warm, now what do I do?" "How much of this packet do I put into the cup?" "How long should I stir it for?" "It's not stirring in well, should I keep going?"); he makes me peanut butter and jelly sandwiches by globbing the jelly on top of the peanut butter and squishing the bread down to spread it out; he farts in the shower every morning, like clockwork ;-)

I like being married to him.

Daydreaming at work...

Well, I haven't felt very much like myself lately. How do I know? Because I don't think I've jumped around and shrieked or clenched my teeth and made a statement that gets progressively louder and higher-pitched with each syllable in over a month. See... I'm really not myself... perhaps because nothing about the old Kim still remains. I don't live in the same place, or have the same friends, or have sisters (well I have sisters but they're so far away so it feels like I don't), or have the same pets, or go to school, or have the same silly job, or have anybody to be silly or have extreme amounts of fun with anymore. East Coast people aren't silly, at least I haven't found any that are. I feel so grown up living here and having a real job and wearing black all the time. And when I got married, growing up was the last thing I had in mind!! I just want to go back to the days where I didn't have strict working hours, or have to wear black every day, or pay bills, or fill out forms (you know for employment, health insurance, loans, etc.), or be "professional" whatever that means. I just want to watch Disney movies with my sisters ... or drink hot chocolate in front of the fireplace and talk and laugh for hours with Renee and Shauna... or dress up in black (ninja gear, not professional dress) and face paint and run around campus with the other Astor girls screaming "Hoo Hoo Ha" and throwing pinecones... or perform a decade-old-boy-band song with a drawn-on mustache... or have a bonfire at the Cherry's house and point my pinkies at the fire, to keep the smoke away of course, doesn't everybody know that? geez... I miss my old life.

But enough whining, I will just try to be more myself here in my new life.

Sooo... today I spent most of the day at work daydreaming about Disneyland. Why? Because Brandon and I bought our tickets home for Christmas yesterday and I specifically chose to take 2 days off work and fly out at night so that we could go to Disneyland with my family. We'll be on a plane to glorious California on Wednesday, December 19th. Our Disneyland passes are blocked out the week of Christmas until a few days after New Years, so in order to get into Disneyland, we have to go home a few days early, but it's WELL worth it. I love Disneyland almost as much as my husband, and Jesus. And the best part is we're going to Disneyland only a few days before Christmas, my other favorite thing in the whole wide world!!! I realize that last Christmas break I went to Disneyland too, but that doesn't make this year any less exciting. Can you believe it, Christmas and Disneyland combined into one event... can you even imagine something more magical than that??? I can't!!! People, I'M PUMPED!!!

A dream is a wish your heart makes

when you're fast asleep.

In dreams you can lose your heartaches

Whatever you wish for you keep.

Have faith in your dreams and someday,

a rainbow will come smiling through

No matter how your heart is grieving,

if you keep on believing...

The dream that you wish for

WILL

COME

TRUE!!

In case you were wondering I just wrote all that from memory and as I hum it, it reminds me of my wedding (our pianist played it while our grandparents were being seated) which brings even more wonderful memories and thoughts to mind. Anyways, I'm super duper excited for Christmas and Disneyland and family and old friends and the West Coast and I can hardly wait for it all to come.

Wedding Pictures!!

I needed to cheer myself up after that last depressing post, so here are some wedding pics, like I promised!!! They're a little out of order and some of them didn't upload right and I'm too lazy to try them again, but here's a little sampling. Our wonderful photographer was named Jackie Donnelly and she works out of Seattle, we were very satisfied with the pictures and she's very reasonably priced! For the rest, click on the link and enter "omalley" as the password. Enjoy!!! :-)

http://donnellyimages.smugmug.com/gallery/3359390

Our sparkler sendoff!!

This is during the dance that me and my girls performed for Brandon... I think it was the best moment of his life

I think this looks like it's from a movie and it's one of my favorite pictures!!

Our super awesome cake... anybody who knows me knows that I couldn't resist a fairy-tale-themed cake... plus it's pink!!

My drop-dead-gorgeous bridesmaids, minus 2

Classic

It suddenly became very windy... this is one of the funniest pictures I've ever seen :-)

Me & my girls

Great idea Rachel!!!

The O'Malley boys and the Ortiz girls

Me and Rachel hiding from Brandon

I LOVE this picture!!! It's so... whimsical :-)

Oh and I know you're probably amazed that I've posted 3 times today... I guess I'm just making up for lost time, but don't get used to it!!