A Love Story of God's Faithfulness

5 years ago today, I entered into a covenant of marriage with Brandon O'Malley, my high school sweetheart and the only boy I'd ever really dated seriously. I was barely 22 years old, fresh out of college, and completely unprepared for real, grown-up life... nevermind marriage. Brandon can attest to the fact that I was mind-blowingly immature and not a godly, submissive, loving or encouraging wife by any stretch of the imagination. He may still think this actually, with good reason, but by God's grace I am growing in these areas. He's not blameless either. We both contributed to the problems and trials we experienced. What else do you expect when two sinners marry each other? Especially two very young, very immature sinners.

Aside from being young, we were also completely different in almost every way. He's a Type A, intentional person. I'm more laid back and easy going. He thrives on structure, routine and in a calm environment. I  like routines as much as the next girl but I can easily handle a much more chaotic lifestyle. He can be critical and lacking in compassion. I like to throw pity parties for myself and become quietly enraged when we disagree. He's more even keel and not easily flappable, while I would completely lose it and shut down when we were fighting. He likes to get problems out in the open, I prefer to seethe inwardly and let bitterness take over until I can't stand it any longer. We have extremely different opinions on lots of things, many of them that affect our daily life. And we both were selfish, 100% convinced that we were right and, as firstborns, we lived up to our stubborn reputations. Neither of us were very understanding or gracious. Neither of us did a very good job of putting the other first. And neither of us knew how to really love the other. But we were young, a little naive and we'd both wanted to be married to each other for so long. Neither of us could imagine life without the other person, so I guess we just assumed it would all work out and we'd be perfectly happy. And so we jumped in with both feet!

Well, real life quickly caught up with us. Brandon and I never really had that "honeymoon" period when newlyweds are still madly in love and think their spouse can do no wrong. I remember that we had a fantastic 6-day honeymoon in Cabo and I loved every second of it. But then I remember feeling this huge sense of dread come over me as our plane from Mexico descended over Washington, DC. I remember thinking, "What have I gotten myself into?" I absolutely did not want to move to the east coast. I still don't like it here. I'd still love nothing more than to move back home. During our engagement counseling, we'd neglected to have a conversation about where we thought we'd be living long-term. I mistakenly assumed that Brandon would want to move back west once he wasn't working for Congress anymore. I was wrong though. Within a month, he took a new job and started thinking about going to law school here. And I was furious. 

On top of that, we got pregnant within a year. With twins obviously. And it was quite a shock to say the least, neither of us felt prepared for it. And then Brandon decided to start law school. I sometimes still wonder what God was thinking. Didn't he promise not to test us beyond what we can endure? I certainly wasn't sure I could endure. There were plenty of times when it felt hopeless or when I wanted to give up. Sure, we were happy a lot of the time. But there were also lots of big fights, a lot of bitterness growing in each of our hearts, and a lot of sin that went unchecked for a long time. It felt like it would never get better.

But slowly, over the past few years, something started to change. God was working in both of us. At first, neither of us noticed it. I can't even pinpoint when exactly it began. It was very slow, very small changes and growth. But eventually we began to grow more patient, gracious, and understanding. We started repenting of our sin towards each other, rather then defending it. I began to not resent Brandon's leadership and decision-making as much. He became more compassionate towards me and my vastly different opinions. We both looked for small ways to put the other first and serve each other. We began learning how to love Christ and each other instead of only ourselves. And it began to make all the difference in the world.

Today, I can say, without any trace of untruthfulness that I am SO glad I married Brandon! I used to wonder why in the world we thought it would be a good idea to get married so young and when we were so different. I still wonder that sometimes. Whatever his reasons, though, God knit our hearts together early in life. He brought us together in marriage. He sustained us over the past 5 years. He has caused our love for each other to grow immensely over the past 3 years. He has matured us individually and as a couple. We are partners. We are lovers. We are friends again.

Although we are still very different people and don't agree on everything, I can trust that Brandon cares for me and has my best interest at heart. I can feel my love and respect for my husband growing each day. I can see that we are growing together in unity and purpose. I can look forward to the next 50 years with hope, excitement and joy. Whatever the Lord brings into our life, I feel confident that we can face it together. And I am so incredibly thankful that God blessed me with Brandon for a husband. God knows  much better than I do what is truly best for me. He knows what I needed then and now. I can see that much more clearly now. Like Proverbs 18:22 says, I've found a "good thing."